Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
