Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i think i just lost a toe
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
