Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
