I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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