pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
