So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
