i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
