I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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