okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
