I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
