i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
