Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
