So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
