First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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