plz talk dirty to me
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
