That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
