Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Im part way to drunk.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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