hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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