Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
