I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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