So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
