You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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