Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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