im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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