She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize