I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
