I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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