should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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