Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
