I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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