You really coming over, don't trick.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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