I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
