dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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