Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you had me at cake vodka
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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