I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
