It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
