even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
