Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
