she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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