As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
