ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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