Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
