it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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