fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize