Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize