and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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