Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
