Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
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my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
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WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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