Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
