Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
