i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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