i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
