just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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