you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
