Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
