It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
