I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
