Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Quick, to the slutcave!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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