The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
