guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
