I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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