You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
